Pastoral Torah: Existential and Spiritual Insights into the Parsha

Carrying the Torah’s Progressive Spirit into the Future

Shabbat Mishpatim 2017/5777

There is only one passage in the Written Law where the Torah discusses a man’s obligations towards his wife, and it can be found in this week’s parasha, Parashat Mishpatim:

Just last week, we were at Sinai. The mountain was smoking; the shofar sounded, and we could actually see the voices! Moses brought down the Ten Commandments and we all answered “na’ase venishma” – we will do and we will listen. What an amazing experience! This week, as if in a natural continuation – symbolized by the connecting letter “vav” in its opening, the 18^th weekly parasha includes many detailed mitzvot. It begins with the laws of eved ivri – a Hebrew servant, and the verse above describes the obligations towards a female maidservant. The understanding follows that if receiving these, is the right of a maidservant, how much more so is a man obligated towards his wife.

Commentators differ in their translations and insights about the meaning of the three requirements mentioned in the verse:

Onkelos, Rashi and the Rambam understand she’era to be her food and sustenance; k’suta – her clothing, and onata – sexual relations. Ibn Ezra, however, explains that while onata might come from ona – sexual “time”, it can also be derived from ma’on – a dwelling place, thus implying housing, shelter. The Rashbam, Rashi’s grandson, agrees with Ibn Ezra’s reading of “housing” and thinks that the Torah would not have to mention sexual relations because that is “obvious”. Ramban is the most surprising since he thinks that all three have to do with the connectedness between husband and wife: she’era – from she’er basar, close relative; k’suta – hinting at the bedspread, and onata – their relations. Accordingly, there is no need to mention food and clothing as that goes without saying.

I’m always touched by the sages’ lack of shyness as well as openness as they playfully share different personal stories about intimacy. Well known is the following (Babylonian Talmud, Brachot, 62:a):

But let us not mistake being playful for being lightheaded. The seriousness with which the sages regarded their marital relationships and the treatment of women is striking, especially on the backdrop of the ancient world when society was largely patriarchal, as we’re told in Megilat Esther:

At a time and place in history when women’s status was extremely low, the Torah appears as a progressive manuscript, which places restrictions on the husband as a “ruler”. The Talmudic sages just added to those. For example, we find:

 In the case of stoning:

And more.

In all monetary matters, a woman is equal to a man. Our Torah portion which deals with monetary compensation, opens with the words:

The Talmud explains “In front of them” – in front of men and women alike (Talmud, Kidushin 35:1) as it says:

This is also true regarding capital punishment and all negative (“do not do”) commandments in the Torah. It all comes down to the creation story, when man and woman were created – equally – in G-d’s image:

If anything, the Talmud instructs a man in “a great principle that safeguards the rights of the women of Israel” (19^th century Rav Hirsch about Talmud, Ktubot 48a):

One additional reminder to the critical presence of a woman’s voice in a man’s life. Here’s G-d’s appearance in Abraham’s tent with His clear instruction to our patriarch (Genesis 21:12):

G-d could have said: in matters of child rearing, home, or any other specific arena, do listen, while in all other areas of life, you’re the “man”, but instead He opted to say – all.  

Thus, the Torah’s ideal expresses a delicate balance and equality between men and women, which could have been maintained for almost 2000 years when the focus of Jewish life was the home; most people did not travel outside of their birth area, and life was contained in the immediate community. This was reflected in volumes and volumes of halacha, largely dealing with the topics of family and neighborly relationships. 

However, the last two hundred years, following the Enlightenment and Emancipation, have seen a major, unprecedented, objective shift outward. We are no longer people of a shtetl, closed by the ghetto’s walls, but that of Facebook and Linkedin, active participants in a big, wide, well-connected world. Globally, perhaps the most visible mark of this new era is the miraculous establishment of the State of Israel. These shifts call on us to draw on our tradition and revive this voice, as we forge a path into the future. 

How do we apply, not only the precise letter of the law, but its spirit as well? How do we continue the journey we began at Sinai, and carry  the Torah’s core values forward, specifically as applied to the Torah’s attitude towards the relationship between man and woman? How do we answer these new questions from a place of trust, respect and love? That is the task at hand.

Shabbat Shalom!