Torah & more… תורה ועוד

Vignette:

I’m becoming a New Yorker… The recent realization follows needing to move my car due to “Street Cleaning”. The “whole world” double-parks from here until forever, waiting for this “seige” to be over. Should I go on a day trip out of town? Well, I could. But if parking is challenging at 1:00pm, at 10:00pm it will be impossible, so I don’t.
I join the double-parkers some blocks away, so I can find a spot, and then, “freely” take public transportation to whereever I need to go… But my my eyes remain tight like a sniper, and when I’m later back, I spot him: a van, idling, on two spots!! “hi there”, I say, stumbling over a sidewalk crack, almost falling into his car not very graciously and fully aware of how ridiculous this is, “can I please have one of these spots, please?”
“No”, he says, “I waiting for a repair van to fix some problem in my building”
“Repair? oh that’s great” Poor guy, little does he know I’m not letting go that easily, “And how long are they “reparing” for”?
“If all goes well, about an hour. Why? what?”
“Please”, I say, combining my Israeli and NY insistance with a CA smile, “Here’s my number; call me when this spot opens”…
And then, a miracle: He calls. I bring my car. He waves and drives away. My Blue Stalion and I cheer. Ah, America!

NorCal:
No better time to pray for rain. Please.

Shmini Atzeret & Simchat Torah:
One more holiday in this stretch of fall holidays. In Israel, the 8th day of Sukkot is the same day as Simchat Torah, some say because in Israel the material and spiritual – combine, while outside of Israel, we live in a more separate world.
Here, we will pray for rain geshem – tomorrow, which is symbolic of all “gashmiyut“, materialism, while the next day, we’ll celebrate with the Torah, sadly increasing the disconnect between spiritual and physical.
As customary, for some strange reason, there will be drinking and dancing and more drinking and even too much drinking (which can’t be said about dancing :-). This is a good time to remember that it’s not our simcha (joy / celebration), but the Torah’s! What makes her happy?

Chag / Hug Same’ach& Shabbat Shalom!

Much (and more) has been writing about Yom Kippur, this “day of Attornment” in an effort to figure out, explain, interpret, rationalize… words and words (and more… beautiful commentary and many wise insights, some of which I plan to use too, and yet, many are left without an answer: What are we doing? How does it make sense? What is this day all about?
We know it as a day to fast – from food and drink, but also bathing, anointing and marital relations. Mostly – it’s intended to be a day to pause from worldly “stuff”, which the sages, sadly, for us, had to put in concrete terms and practical restrictions. I pull out my machzor to prepare. It’s really beautiful and I love much of what’s in it. And yet, if I read through all of this, will that tell me what’s Yom Kippur? Is a day to approach through these words with one’s intellect, or maybe…

And then, a moment:

As background to my unpacking (great activity for erev YK morning 😊), I’m listening to Galgalatz, the Israeli “music and traffic” radio station. On this day, at 4:55pm Israel time, they play a new’ish version of Kol Nidrei. At 5:00pm – they broadcast the “News”, and then, they say, quite nonchalantly: כאן תמו שידורינו – this completes our broadcasting (until after chag).
And then, there is Silence.
Silence with capital S. Silence which rings in my ears as loud as the shofar; as loud the siren on Holocaust Memorial Day and Yom Hazikaron, Memorial Day for IDF and Terror Victims; Silence which is piercing and all present, filling the air with great joy and great awe. Silence which calls out, “Shabbat-Shabaton”, this is a Mega-Pause from Everything to recalibrate back to zero, like a spiritual bathtub to dunk in. There are no words for that feeling when we get out a good bath. I listen to that Silence and think to myself, that’s it. This is Yom Kippur.

I’m sitting on the edge of the last chair in my apartment, waiting for the movers to come… what a grand way to accentuate this being the eve of the New Year 5778!
The past few days have been busy spent sorting through my life – again: “what will be thrown away, what will be given to a clothing drive, and what will go on with me to my next stop”… I find it all crazy-making, sad, cleansing, heavy, wonderful, exciting, fun…
This year, I think, again, of those tensions in our life, saying yes between two opposing ideas without giving up on either side. We’ve talked about it earlier, when we encountered Ki Tetze & Ki Tavo (the Torah portions of Living and Coming); Nitzavim & Vayelech (standing & walking) and now we come to Rosh Hashana.
We always say “Rosh” is head and “Shana” is year. Easy. But – I’d like to suggest that shana – connected to 2nd – sheni and “leshanen”, as in the Ve’ahavta, which indicated repeated learning, and Mishna, which is a deeper rerun of the Torah.
Rosh is also strange, if you think about it. It’s the “head”, thus the “beginning”, but who’s to say my body doesn’t start form my feet or arms or heart? “Rosh” is more of a leader, 1st.
A leader is nothing without those 2nd and 3rd. For something to be a beginning, it must have a following, a continuity.
So already from day one we’re given an oxymoron: A 1st and a 2nd. It’s the “beginning” of “repetition”, if you will. And we’re supposed to find the balance between the two.
This year, Rosh Hashana falls on the equinox. That was the “start” point for the rabbis’ calendar calculations, the zero. We walk into our “Yom HaDin” – day of judgment when everything is on the scale, as the world of astrology introduces Libra, the scales. Every little act can tilt the scales one way or another. It’s heavenly and divine; we’re constantly dealing with balls tossed at us over which we have no control; and yet, simultaneously, in our hands. What will we do with these balls? How will this year look? How will we conduct the partnership with the one on High, who also, struggles with his opposite midot (qualities) between judgment and mercy (see below)? Asking and seeking for that point is what drives us constantly forward.

May it be a sweet, good year! L’shana Tova U’Metuka!

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Bereishit Rabba 12:15 בראשית רבה (וילנא) יב/טו

ה’ א-להים, (משל) למלך שהיו לו כוסות ריקים אמר המלך אם אני נותן לתוכן חמין הם מתבקעין, צונן הם מקריסין, ומה עשה המלך ערב חמין בצונן ונתן בהם ועמדו, כך אמר הקדוש ברוך הוא אם בורא אני את העולם במדת הרחמים הוי חטייה סגיאין, במדת הדין היאך העולם יכול לעמוד, אלא הרי אני בורא אותו במדת הדין ובמדת הרחמים, והלואי יעמוד

The Lord God [made earth and heaven]. This may be compared to a king who had empty glasses. Said the king: ‘If I pour hot water into them, they will burst; if cold, they will contract [and snap].’ What then did the king do? He mixed hot and cold water and poured it into them, and so they remained [unbroken]. Even so, said the Blessed Holy One: ‘If I create the world on the basis of mercy alone, its sins will be great; on the basis of judgment alone, the world cannot exist. Hence I will create it on the basis of judgment and of mercy, and may it then stand!’.

Vignette:

School started again, and as is appropriate after the long summer of being away, on the first day, we talk about our journeys; journey with a small j and a capital J. We share experiences, as we look backwards and forward on, and add meaningful quotes. I especially like Peter J. Palmer’s from his book “The Courage to Teach” who says: “Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do with you”. I often think of my life as a giant puzzle I put together without having the cover picture; sometime a piece I thought was the middle of the sky, turns out to be a deep, beautiful lake on the other side. I try to listen for the hints and keep watching with amazement as the picture unfolds.

Some Torah:
It’s slightly past the full moon of Elul which means less than two weeks until Rosh Hashana, and ushering the New Year! The last Shabbatot of the year are dedicated to balancing contradictions: Ki Tetze – last week, and Ki Tavo, this week; and then, next week, Nitzavim – Vayelech on the same Shabbat. The first set can be loosely translated as “going out” and “coming in”; the second set means “standing” and ”walking”.
As so often, we’re asked to simultaneously hold two contradicting positions. We’d like it to be all one way. Or another. But that’s not what it’s about. Balance is a powerful theme all year and especially at this season with the images of the heavenly scales weighing our actions, and even the upcoming (astrological sign of) Libra. How to maintain? Just when we think we “got it”, that sense of equanimity, it rocks a bit, and one side goes up, Or down. It takes sooo much patience to fine tune it; so easy to lose.
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One of the strange “curses” / “consequences” in this week’s reading is this (28:29):
כט וְהָיִיתָ מְמַשֵּׁשׁ בַּצָּהֳרַיִם, כַּאֲשֶׁר יְמַשֵּׁשׁ הַעִוֵּר בָּאֲפֵלָה… 29 And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind person gropes in darkness…
What is the added value of the words “in darkness”? what does it matter to a blind person if it’s noon or night, if anyway s/he can’t see? The commentators answer: at noon, others, who can see, can help, but at night, no one notices the blind person because no one can see. The curse doubles: Being in darkness – physically, emotionally, spiritually – gets many times worse when, on top of our own inability to “see”, we’re alone, and there is no one there to lend us a hand.
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There are a few surprising instructions in this last book that’s almost coming to its end. If we didn’t know it to be serious Deuteronomy, we might think it’s from some New Age guide book. The first was when we were “commanded to love”, a seemingly oxymoron; and now – a commandment to be joyful.
Be happy, says the Torah. Be happy, says the book that has no problem – in the very same parasha! – to spell out awful consequences in case we misbehave – many of which came true.
Be happy.
And if not, you’ll be punished.
What? Why?? Isn’t being happy just an “extra” bonus, after doing all the other “chores”? isn’t keeping mitzvot just really hard work? Who cares about “happy”! just do the right thing; “it’s the Law”!
But the Torah thinks otherwise.
Here’s the text (Deuteronomy 28:47) right from the heart of this week’s “curses” section:
תַּחַת אֲשֶׁר לֹא-עָבַדְתָּ אֶת-יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ, בְּשִׂמְחָה, וּבְטוּב לֵבָב–מֵרֹב, כֹּל
The easy translation is “because you did not serve Hashem your God with joyfulness, and with goodness of heart, by reason of the abundance of all things“;

There are two ways to read this verse. One, as translated here (above), but I’d like to parse the verse differently, and separate only the first 4 words out:
תַּחַת אֲשֶׁר לֹא-עָבַדְתָּ
This can simply mean:
Because you did not serve (Hashem… etc as above).
Or (and I admit that some will consider it a “creative” reading), it could mean:
Because you served “No”.
That is, the “sin” here is that we’ve “worshiped” – stayed focused on – negativity. We gave precedence to the “don’t” part of the commandments. We were big on the “no’s”. We fixated on the “chumrot” – strictures – and what we – but mostly others… – are doing wrong. Someone was always not quite perfect enough. No matter what, the cup remained half empty. Yes, true, we got so much of what we wanted; things are pretty good, in fact, not too bad, but, ah, well, not quite “perfect”. If only…
That’s when the second half of the verse comes in. Not only should we not “worship the no’s” – it’s not enough to “avoid” the negative and remain “parve”. But rather “with Hashem your G-d, (you should be) in joy and goodness of the heart for the (amazing) everything you have”.
In Hebrew, there are two words for joy – simcha & sason. The latter, sason, is unexpected joy (‘hey, look, I found a treasure!) while simcha is a joy one must work hard for (“ve’samachta bechagecha” – be joyful in your holiday, as we’re instructed in Deuteronomy 16:14). We are not commanded to be in sason (although G-d can be yasis – causing joy); but, we are commanded to be “same’ach”, which means the Torah thinks that is something we can work at, and that is within our power.

Shabbat Shalom.